its been a while...

well, well, well..its been a while i didnt write n update myself here..huhu very da busy la...

now everything seem very different.. i rather say it frm the other side of me, n alhamdulillah it's all berkat of doa mak n abah yg xputus2 n xjemu2 dari umah..n im always reminding myself to always believe n yakin in doa, coz doa diri sendr plus doa mak n abah plus doa kwn2 plus doa org sekeliling yg menyayangi dr ni will guide me to achieve what i am today..so, mke sure xputus asa tuk terus berdoa..insya-Allah, Amin..

Right now, i need extra energy plus spirit plus support to achieve my highest point of my life..n off course after all the effort i'll put on, doa will guide n move seiring to touch the success point. Insya-Allah.

Frm the past till now..

Today ive seen him again n again...long tme i keep it until now, i think i've made a good decision to see him..yeah n this time i didnt feel ackward but it make me realise something..i've lost my time,n i had to do something with it, my clock is thicking..n that is y he always push me everytme i see him..now i understand, thanx 4 da heart to heart talk that wake me up from my dreams all this while, yeah u are rite..ishtiqarah is the most important n doa to ask for the best..i didnt expect im thinking bout this but u're rite again, i have to n it is for my future.. no need to worry, ill work it out..n the time will cme, Insya-Allah..wateva it is, i still can count on u..thnx again for the moment..

11 years i know u, ur loving kind of heart really touched me down, u're still the same person that show ur love to everyone, thats make me proud n even adore u for ur sincere..im not sure whether ur showing off to me or its cme really frm ur heart but it make me so jealous of u...y, y u hve so kind of heart..y didnt someone else hve the x factor that u hve???the way u express it n the way u treat people,y shouldnt i be the one that u'll show ur love..damn, i really miss u like the old tme.....i'm praying for ur happiness..

And ur experience taught me to b well prepared..i hve my new task now, to grab it n show u the result..Ya Allah, gve me the strength to face it...i need guidence frm u...

well, i hope u like the present i bought for u, it is nothing to compare the love frm my heart..as long as u're happy, then ill b happy..n i like to c u happy all the time..Ya Allah, berilah kebahagian kepada dia sepertimana Kau berikan kebahagiaan kepada kekasih2mu Ya Allah..amin..

n for u....ill b always remember u as the best things that ever happen in my life, u'll always b in my heart no matter how far i go,how great i am n how long it takes..n i didnt care if u hating me after dis or give it up bcause ill always gve u my love..



when the star starting to shine...

well, it is a new episode myb...when the star starting to shine...im in love?oh god..not to soon..huhu whateva it is i am really..really...really...really...happy...cant tell u how happy i am but its like looking out the window in the morning with a beautiful sun rising in front of me..n the fresh feeling that i hve is clearly seen n calm..dnt wory cyg..i will always love u forever n ever..hope dis relationship will last forever...he is the man, he is the one...u'll b my spirit, my soul..eventhough we only hve it in my dream n ur dream...we'll hold it together..love ya forever..

what a day...

eventhough xam makin dekat but today xrasa nk study sblknya nk menulis n meluah apa yg ade dlm hati...
it started when i made up my  mind to see her 2day(bcause of rindu mayb..n long tme no see each other) so i kuatkn semangat n bharap everything gonna b fine when i meet her..well, at the 1st it going smooth n easy but then i mula rasa janggal n jelek when it come to her hubby yg terlebih peramah....hello...i need to speak with her la not u...then i realise he is now controlling the situation between us..oh my god, what am i doing here listening to his annoying story..shit..'macam sial'..huhuhu his ayat..arghh i hope he's got work to do..n leave us alone..

after a while he stop n try to figure out to do smething else..ohhh akhirnya...

then i hve a quality time with her..but it is not like what i imagine..totally different n i can feel the ackward..

n by that time i realize that i'm miss the old time that we had together..i cant tell it how but it make me feel calm, comfrtable n happy..why i cant hve that feeling anymore?why...bcause of our maturity?emm no,bcause of our gap?i dnt thnk so...then y??? i hve no idea..

thinking of that, i mula mrasakan tndkn yg i buat ni sia-sia n it come to the word 'menyesal'..owhh great..what a great idea to see her n to mnyesal bcause im seeing her...hohohoho what a stupid...

well, it reflect to my condition right now bcoz i cnt stop thnking bout her..owh, forgot that im having her facebook after finding n searching for an hour..apa yg memusykilkn lg is her date of birthday?is that true?what a fuck 1960s..hohoho n what a damn 1 of april? hello..all this tme that i know she is celebrating her bday on 22 of nov n i never miss to wish her every year since i know her..owh what a shame if it is true..

whatever it is, totally n seriously i feel like i wanna kill that guy that mke me jealous of their happnss..

owh no need to show off that u r a good person, a slumber rock n 'humble'..owh feel like i wanna throw this throught off..

its all done already so im just thankfull that i still can meet her,still can hve chat tgether frm heart to heart n still can keep in touch eventhough she is not telling me the truth n the story behind the scene..its ok, im not an important person to know all the story by the way.....who am i cmpare to her..i realise that..its ok...

thanx for the layanan n sorry for disturbing n taking ur tme..

one day, one day i hope i can find the answer n the feeling that im losing it rite now..hope so..

im alwyz pray for her savety n hppness..hope u'll never broke the relationship..im counting on it..plsss..

Mimpi yg terindah....

Alhamdulillah...Alhamdulillah...Subhanallah...

 Terharu dan seronoknya arini...rasa xnk bgn dari tdo....krn mengalami mimpi yg sgt indah...

mcm tau2 je di saat aku memerlukn, dia pasti dtg....

saat2 aku kesedihan, kepiluan mst rindu n teringatkn dia...

tiba2 smalam dpt jmpa, salam n pluk dia....dia tnya ape kaba, smpat slm dgn mak n adik beradik yg lain..

Ya Allah, tuhan saja yg tau betapa gmbra n seronoknya ati ni...aku xkn lupakn tgn yg sntiasa kusmbut bila dihulur, tgn yg sntiasa mmberi inspirasi n sumber kekuatan dlm meneruskn khdupan ni...

bila imbau blk saat2 bsama, rsa mcm sekejap je dia dh pegi tggalkn aku...tp aku tetap rsa dia sntiasa ada bila aku memerlukan....dia xkn ada penggantinya dari dlu skang n slamanya...dia tetap di hati..

smoga dgn bjmpa dia, aku akn diberi kekuatan dlm menempuhi dugaan n ranjau kehdupan...

u've to b strong...yeah...

bunga dibalas taik....

Arggghhh...sometimes life is cruel...dissapointed and frustated...

Well, people said buat baik berpada2, buat jahat jgn sekali...so, im trying to b a good person to evryone even it really hurts  myself...

Penat menjaga hati org, tp hati sndr ni sape nk jaga...penat wat baik kat org, bkn nk harapkn balasan tp cukup dgn pghargaan n ingatan....

inilah lumrah manusia...mudah sgt lupa daratan, lupa ingatan....but im always remind myself...Allah always with people who are in patient..mengahrapkn ganjaran pahala n nikmat dpd DIA...itu lebih menguntungkn...

tp hati manusia...xdpt lari dari bfkrn negatif...

"sy bkn nk puji dr atau meninggi dr tp sy xblh tgk org dlm kesushn, xblh tgk kwn2 dlm susah, kalau blh semua org sy nk gembirakan dan senangkn hati dorg, sy slalu nk tlg dorg setakat yg sy mampu, sy xpernah kecewakn dorg..org kata sy slalu ada bila dorg memerlukn sy, sy seronok sbb dpt bntu n buat org snyum...

sy xharapkn apa2 blsn cukup dgn ucapan terima kasih n senyuman pd wajah dorg...n dgn harapan bila smpai ms sy, dorg akn bntu sy pula....tp stiap kali sy perlukn dorg, dorg skit pn xpndang sy..dorg sslalu cari alasan kdg2 dorg sggup tpu sy sbb bg dorg sy blh bntu dr sy sndr..sy pn manusia biasa, bknnya malaikat blh wat sesuka ati sy, ade masa sy pn lemah sprt dorg, perlukn sokongan dr dorg tp........sy slalu rsa sorg2, skit pn dorg xendahkn sy...mgkn dorg xsuka tgk sy senyum...xpe la, sy kuatkn smgat sy sbb sy tau Allah sntiasa bsama2 sy...tp sy btul2 kcl hati, sy btul2 terasa ati n sy btul2 kecewa... bg dorg sy ni seolah2 tmpt utk dipergunakn bila dorg rsa perlu..........mungkin salah sy juga trlalu baik pd dorg, tp ape sy nk wat...sy tau pglmn byk mnjadikn sy matang tp bila bhadapan dgn situasi mcm ni, sy tewas....sy xtau ape yg perlu sy buat selain menangis n pendam dlm ati....sdgkn dorg seronok bgembira n bketawa...sampai ati dorg....."

Mungkin itulah harga yg perlu kutanggung apabila berbuat baik..

im trying ok, im trying my best...walaupun kdang2 terasa diri ibarat lilin yg membakar diri demi memberi cahaya kpd yg lain...

owh its hurt.......a lot ok.....

selalu org sebut 'arini ari sya, mna tau sok2 lusa ari awk lak'

arghh...it doesnt mean anything, xpernah ada istilah hari saya....

pedih n luluh hati ini...susah sgt ke nk kenang walau sdkt pgrbnn n pertlgn yg dh kta bg...

slalu mengalir airmata ni mengenangkn prstiwa ni....sedih sgt....

Gratisan Musik

From Adians to Z'ans....

Once upon a time there is a girl that love to b love by a boy dat has a novel name alike..

Well, it is sweet to have a beautiful name with its beautiful meaning...

klimaks- there u go with a loving moment n romantic scene..but it happen only 3years then it is gone bcause of ketidakjujuran n ketdksefahaman~ well i dont know how to mention it, but it makes da girl really2 upset n down for awhile..

Only god noe how painfull it was n how strong she had to fight n face it. Whateva it is,

its a reality of  life, people come n go, u meet n u say goodbye..its a normal behaviour hahahaha for most of them off course.

then for a decent of time, she had nothing left....only pray for herself to b a better person..

To make it short,

it begins with all the Z'ans..

n im sorry i dnt know how it ends..

maybe in her mind rite now there is a lot of Z'ans..

whateva it is, she dnt hve to do anything..

just smile n pray for the best...

with nu title n nu spirit..

hahaha its been a long long long journey n nu world to b discover...

being with da nu title didnt change myself even its hard to dscover when u r alone in the world...

people said maturity will b gain when u xplore the learning, observation n experience process.. yup, true...and with da min of stress, ull achieve whateva u want in life..

Trying to gve motivation to myself even it is harder than u might think..

trying to update n upgrade myself to da high level..

having a great vacation...

1st of all, to all my dearest tiong hwa frens out there, gong xi fa cai...slmat thn balu cina...

n im having my great vacation..hehehe try to have some calmness session by mandi air terjun di sungai congkak with some of my xskol fren...

date: 13th of february 2010

venue: sg congkak, ulu langat

time:10am-6pm

activies: bbq,eating,bathing,games,chatting....

actually ive been here for more than 2x..hahaha 

its a very beautiful place to release ur tension...

come, im inviting u guys out there to spent ur time @sg congkak....